Crafting an Intentional Life: Strategies for Mindful Living and Authentic Joy
When I lost my baby girl in 2010, I was living a life that had been paved out for me by society. School, University, travel, career, marriage and then babies. The career was corporate, I had no energy to pursue any interests even if i knew what they were and the things that lit me up were my loved ones and kids. I was a good little spender, a great consumer,, I read and watched TV in my spare time for relaxation.
I never realised it, but I was scared all the time. Scared of doing it wrong, getting it wrong, being all wrong on the outside and yes on the inside. My inner critic was harsh with me… I had it all, what was there to complain about?
Fulfilment, joy are quite wily - you think you are going to get them when you buy a new car get a promotion, have the next child…. and they seem to get further away, despite the initial elation.
What we are really trying to do is cover up that incessant voice saying that we are not good enough. We are trying to cover the pain of wanting with getting. When we feel good enough, when we get that thing we hope that there will be peace inside. No more wanting, striving, feeling unworthy. In the future, we will be happy.
I remember thinking that when I lost Sophia I had failed. Maybe it was my body, my actions, my not enough-ness that had given me this tragedy. I was surprised to find out that people still loved me anyway. I felt held and buoyed up by their love.
It connected something in my mind. I could do the things I wanted to do, and I would be loved anyway. I could quit corporate for yoga teaching, I could go against the grain and do things others weren’t all doing, eating organic, not eating meat, being a little different and meditating and doing breathwork. My mantra became people will love me anyway.
I did a process three years ago where I sat down and looked at my life in categories. Social life, parenting, relationship, career, purpose, travel etc and I deeply thought about what I wanted them to look like. I created intentions for every area of my life.
Some of them were quite fun like wanting a boat for more outdoor time, more freedom, time with the kids, some of them were a revelation. If my intention was to have an intimate, loving marriage then we needed to more attention on that and less on general bickering :)
What happened when I got intentional, when I did this process was that my mind and my heart went to work to create it. I got clear and then I manifested almost all of it. Becoming lighter and freer, more fulfilled in the process.
So….
Remember you are loved anyway.
Create intentions around what you want - really think about it and write it down.
Remember your intentions in your actions and behaviours.
Live a life you love, not one you tolerate.